I should start posting in this thing again.

Only two interesting stories as of late. One is that I'm taking care of kittens! I've been volunteering at a vet clinic, and this guy brought in a litter of kittens that he found under his hot tub. With them comes the mom and a 5-month-old kitten that is likely from her last litter. The staff have been taking turns caring for them, and I have them the first week. They are absolutely adorable, and I talked to mom about potentially adopting the 5-month-old because he's very sweet and I think he'd get along very well with Aidan. We'll see. Pictures are on my Facebook.

The second story has to do with my laptop. I bought a brand new, 13-inch Macbook Pro back in July. A little over a month later, Dan spilled water on it. We waited a few days for it to dry, and turned it back on to find out that the shift, option, and eject keys were all broken. We made an appointment with the Genius Bar and bought a USB keyboard that I could use in the meantime.

I got to the Apple Store 5 minutes early for my appointment. I waited, and waited. They skipped my name on the list. I found someone and got them to put me back on. In total, I waited 45 minutes to see them. They said they'd have to replace the entire top case, which they have to order in. It'd cost $488 and they'd call when they were ready for me to drop it off.

About 5 days after I had talked to the Genius Bar, my laptop started working again. It worked flawlessly for almost two weeks, and then the same keys broke again. At this point it'd been about two and a half weeks, and I hadn't gotten a call, so I called them. The guy who typed my number in had mistyped it. They told me to drop it in. I had to work, so I asked Dan to, and to fix my number while he was it. He dropped it off, and they said that they were a bit backed up at the moment, but they'd try to get it fixed by the end of the day, and it'd be done by the end of the next day at the latest.

That was two weeks ago.

I'd call, and call, and they'd always say that it'd be a couple more days, and I was getting increasingly frustrated (also, they never fixed my number, and I had to ask them to fix it again). I remembered last night that I forgot to remove the password I set on the computer, and went in today so I could fix it. I was a little nervous when the guy came back out and pointed me out to the manager. She said that she understands my laptop's repair has been taking a long time, and to compensate, they would like to give me a brand new laptop!

So in conclusion, I was mad... and now I am happy. Good job, Apple Store.

Wednesday: Nausea, headache, sore throat, body aches
Thursday: Minor sore throat, major body aches
Friday: No body aches, major sore throat
Saturday: Major sore throat, cough
Sunday: Sore throat, cough, loss of voice, nausea
Monday: Very minor sore throat, cough (with phlegm), loss of voice, sniffles
Tuesday: Very minor sore throat, cough (with phlegm), loss of voice, sniffles

This is the weirdest set of symptoms I have ever had and it sucks shit.

I'm bored and waiting for my lab to start, so I guess I'll make a post.

Not too much has happened. I quit my job. Classes are... interesting. Embryology is intimidating. My business profs are pretty laid back and funny. Biochemistry is intimidating. My embryology prof pauses a lot when he speaks, and it makes him sound like a robot. He also says "Compact Disk" instead of CD.

My schedule is retarded. I have two Zoology courses that all Zoo majors have to take, so they put one class at 9:00 and the other one at 4:00. Consequently, I have four-hour breaks on Wednesday and Friday.

I have to go shopping for glasses because my eyesight's gotten worse. I've apparently gone from -150 to -250, which is a fairly large jump. I might have to wear glasses most of the time now, but I'd really rather not. I'm kind of thinking about contacts, but I feel squeamish about things touching my eye.

Lab time. Apparently, we're going to learn how to use Excel. Exciting.

Dan won me a stuffed cow at the Stampede, and... Aidan keeps kneading her, and sometimes, he'll put his back legs down and shiver his butt, kinda like he's... thrusting?

I feel dirty.

Edit: Oh. My. God.

He was licking the area around his groin, and I thought he was licking this one spot kinda tenderly, so I went to see what it was...

It was his penis.

I just saw my cat's penis.

... I just saw my cat's penis.

Ew.

He likes that cow way too much.

So for the past week I was in Kananaskis. I met a lot of people, and it was both fun and miserable at different times, but overall, it was good. It was really beautiful there, and although I wish I could've gone on more walks around the site, we pretty much worked all day. No, seriously. This was the typical schedule for me:

8:00 - Wake up
8:30 - Arrive at the main lodge for a small breakfast
9:00 - Lab, which ended anywhere from 11:00 to 12:00; any spare time was used to work on assignments
12:00 - Lunch
1:00 - Lab, which ended anywhere from 3:00 to 5:00; any spare time was used to work on assignments
5:30 - Dinner
6:30 - Work on assignments
10:00 - Shower
11:30 - Try to sleep; sleep would occur anywhere from 12:00 to 1:00

The first morning, I tried eating a large breakfast and ended up with stomach pain for the rest of the morning. Breakfast and I just don't get along. The food was pretty awesome, though; the cooks there even made their own vinaigrettes.

We saw a baby mountain sheep walking on the road. It almost got run over a few times, but it just kinda calmly wandered around all these stopped cars until it finally decided to leave. We also saw a baby/adolescent deer walking in front of the main lodge. There were tons of ground squirrels everywhere, and their constant chirping sounded like birds.

On Tuesday, we were supposed to go on a hike, but it rained all day, so we postponed it to Thursday. However, Wednesday morning, a small stream had appeared in front of our lodge from all the runoff from the rest of the mountain. During the day, it grew larger, and turned into a river that stayed there for the duration of our trip. I will probably make another post later with pictures stolen from my new friends' Facebook pages.

On Wednesday, even though it was raining, we had to do a lab related to optimal foraging. We made arenas of 10m x 10m, and threw caramel squares in and had to find them and eat them. Although this would normally be fun, it's miserable if it's so cold and rainy that it actually soaks through your rain coat. The cold also made the caramel really hard to chew.

Anyway, I should probably go to bed since my midterm is in a few hours and I want to get up early to study a bit more.

Aidan gets diarrhea for two nights and I'm a nervous wreck. Sometimes I think that maybe, I just care a little too much.

Tasha's mom is right though, in that the Edgemont Vet Clinic is awesome.

Interesting tidbit of the day:

Flatworms are hermaphrodites. When they reproduce, they do what is known as "penis fencing". They both wrap around each other and try to stab (yes, stab, right into the tissue) the other flatworm with their penis. The first one that is successful is the winner. They then ejaculate onto the loser, and the loser has to bear the burden of motherhood.

Life fucking sucks.

Tonight has been so frustrating. Ugh.

There's a pattern emerging here, my friends. A pattern most intricate.

Every time Lyndsay gets in to a position to be lazy for a few weeks or months, I post on her journal. Granted, this is only the second lazy period for me to post, but I am confident that most future vacations will also include yours truly at the helm of the HMS LiveJournal.

Yes, loyal readers, if you've not yet figured it out, this is Dan. Back by popular demand (hi Tasha!) to spin the hits and tell you stories about the world that THE MAN tries to keep down. Live from an undisclosed basement location in Cuba, this is pirate LiveJournal.

I'm sad to announce that I am unable to continue telling you the story of L'Haberdasherie by William P. Wrinklebutton, as Dr. Wrinklebutton contacted me a day after I posted the first piece. He was not angry, just disappointed in me, and that hurts more than anything. So there will be a hiatus before any new stories are forthcoming. It takes a while to track down talented, untapped writers, but I am in talks with a few about obtaining the rights to reprint (repost?) their works.

I think I'm going to cut this post off just below, but I have an idea for a wicked experiment. Maybe I'll post it tomorrow, if Lyndsay allows me to. It involves creating a small race of highly-skilled stick-figure ninjas. They will be two dimensional--invisible to the eye when turned--and be an unstoppable force for doing my bidding. I'll let you know how the initial stages go in the next update.

It's going to be awesome.

DAN OUT
----8<----------------------------------------------------------

Ok, so this summer, I want to get a job, preferably one that's vet-related. I've been looking at the UofC's Career Services page, and there is a vet-related job there. Problem is, it's in Falconridge. Mom said she'd drive me, but obviously she can't do it all the time, like when she's out of town. To get there by transit, I'd need to take a bus from Whitehorn. This is the only vet-related job posting.

Should I:
1) Wait for a vet-related job at a better location
2) Apply for it anyway, or
3) Just go find something else?

Ok, I met the STRANGEST guy today. Why was he strange, you ask? Because he talked like a robot. His voice sounded like those mechanical computer voices. It was SO weird. I was waiting at the bus stop, and he walked up. He said something, but I couldn't hear him because a bus was passing by at that moment and buses are kinda loud.

Me: Pardon?
Him: Have you had a bad day?
Me: No, it's been alright. How about you?
Him: Nothing bad yet. We have not met before, have we?
Me: No.
Him: I am Dale.
Me: I'm Lyndsay.
Dale: How do you spell that? L-i-n-d-s-a-y?
Me: Uh, L-y-n-d-s-a-y.
Dale: Lyndsay, may I ask you a personal question?
Me: Uh, sure.
Dale: When is your birth date?
Me: ... April 20.
Dale: And how old will you be turning in April?
Me: 19.
Dale: June 20 will be a very big day for you. You are turning 7000 days old on that day. Are you going to do anything to celebrate?
Me: I don't usually really celebrate birthdays.
Dale: What about 7000 days old?

At this point, my bus pulls up. This guy is walking on the sidewalk, and Dale says, "How are you today, Nathan?" And Nathan responds, "Not bad Dale, yourself?" I got on the bus. It makes me think, though, that someone made a robot and just sends him around collecting information about people. Seriously, the guy sounded exactly like a robot. It was just... so strange. He boggled my mind.

Would people be free on Saturday for a Lost marathon?

Edit: Fine, no Lost. But Jesus fucking christ, can you guys at least comment telling me when you'll be available so we can actually finish Lost sometime before we all die of old age?

And no, we will not just "go on without you", because if most people can't make it, "but really, just go on without [them]", there will be no one there, and some people will be left behind and have to catch up, which really makes it more of a hassle then just post-poning it for a day where everyone is free.

Braki Inc presents:

Aidan Training Sessions
Lesson 1:
Aidan: ~chewing on Braki's watch~
Braki: ~grabs spray bottle~ Aidan, no! ~takes away watch~
Aidan: =(
Braki: ~waves watch in front of Aidan~
Aidan: ~paws at watch~
Braki: ~sprays Aidan in face~ No!
Aidan: =(
Braki: ~waves watch in front of Aidan~
Aidan: ~paws at watch~
Braki: ~sprays Aidan in face~ No!
Aidan: =(
Braki: ~waves watch in front of Aidan~
Aidan: ~doesn't move~
Braki: ~places watch in front of Aidan~ Now what do you do with this?
Aidan: ~pushes watch away with his paw~
Braki: That's right. Good boy.

I am the boyfriend all others aspire to be.

Or at least, that's what I told myself while I helped vacuum, clean and otherwise spiffy up Lyndsay's house tonight. If I had have worn an apron and some rouge I could have been a 1950's housewife. Except I did not cook dinner. Lyndsay's mother graciously 'cooked up' (hahaha) a phone call to the local Chinese eatery.

Pun.

So I've hijacked Lyndsay's LJ again. She doesn't feel like writing, and I have excess energy to burn off in my fingers. I would create an account of my own, but it's much easier to steal Lyndsay's work of setting up a network of friends and readers. Web 2.0 can kiss my ass.

Anyways, as promised before:

L'Haberdasherie by William P. Wrinklebutton

Introduction by W.P. Wrinklebutton
“L'Haberdasherie is the crowning achievement to my literary career; a gritty tale such as this has never been told by or to man, and I pray that the unwashed masses understand that while my vision is a critique of society it is also a message of hope and optimism. I believe the portrayal of the heroines is as accurate as can be while still lending them the strength, the courage to pursue their dreams and fondest desires.

At the behest of my editor, Albert, I include this warning to the readers. This story—nay, masterwork—is not for the faint of heart. If you have an aversion to romance and passion, or feel light headed at the mention of a flesh wound, I beseech you to cease now and pick up a more tolerable read. Perhaps something with pop-up pictures, you immature fop. If you cannot handle the content of this story then I wish nothing more for you than a slow descent into the depths of the Thames.”

( L’Haberdasherie pt.1 (NWS) )

Hi!

This is Dan; Lyndsay has given me permission to write an LJ post because she hasn't updated since the first of December. Shame on her. She said "post whatever you want," so I figured I'd start out with a steamy tale of a torrid romance gone wrong in the foggy streets of lower London, followed by a brief discussion on why black is a shade and white is a color, and I'll maybe end things with some personal banking information or something.

Anyways, Lyndsay has not been up to much. She had a few encounters before Christmas with some IB people from Churchill, including but not limited to dinner and skating at the Olympic Oval. (I should put a disclaimer that 99% of the stuff Lyndsay has done in this post has also included me, as I work to assimilate her completely and remove all semblance of independence between the two of us--eventually we will be one being, one mind. Long live the hive)

She has been very lazy during her Christmas vacation. I believe she spent close to a full week without leaving the house. Around 90% of her time during that week was spent in her room, either in bed or in front of her computer. The rest of the time was for foraging for food and taking multi-hour showers (sometimes with her cat).

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

I'm running out of ideas so I guess I will just end this post with an advertisement for Mountain Dew: Fuel. An energy drink for our times, available in supermarkets and vending machines near you. MSRP $2.00 per 500mL bottle (plus $0.05 deposit fee where applicable). Mountain Dew: Fuel for your life (a product of Pepsi Co)

Ok, due to conflicting schedules, no Lost marathon this week. It might be next week, but that may not be looking too good, either. So... I don't know. We'll see.

So, Brent told me not to postpone Lost, so I guess we're doing it this Saturday.

Anyways, I forgot to mention that I tricked Dan into going to Twisted with Tasha, Tania, Rachel, Jake, Shoes, and me. It was funny. In the washroom, this boy budged in front of me in the line, but then when I left another stall, he apologized for budging, and when I left, he said, "Bye sexy!" It was adorable. And I saw Scotty outside.

Ooh, and Bryson is coming tomorrow. =)

Ok, then. Lost Marathon: Part Three shall be at my place. If you need directions, you can text or call me.

So, what have I been up to for the past three weeks? Not too much. Dan's been over almost every night. I remember going for dinner with Brent on the 22nd. The second part of the Lost marathon was fun, especially since Tania's parents spoil us with food. I discovered that my cat likes durian.

Oh, my aunt came to visit. That was pretty fun. It was kinda funny, because she would tell me I spoil Aidan, but then she'd give him pieces of chicken and stuff. I rarely ever give him human food. Right now, my great aunt is here, and she fed him six pieces of chicken last night. People love to spoil my cat, and then he will stop being cute and will become fat and ugly. >=(

Today I went to the Pocket briefly to wish a happy birthday to Bob. Krisi was there, too. =) <3

University is lots of work. It's kind of depressing, but on the bright side, I got the written portion of my Physics midterm back today, and I got 100 on it, so I think I'm gonna get an A on this midterm, which is nice. And I got 100% on my math midterm, which is also nice, especially since the class average is 84% and my prof is curving, so I actually need that 100.

Aidan is annoying and won't let me type.

Edit: Ok, if Brent can't make it, why don't we postpone it until Dec. 9?